Ever since I was young, I was curious... curious about my inherited physical traits, curious about the way people socially and physically interacted with each other, curious about how I thought I was supposed to be, curious about the construction of a society in which I never asked to live. Fear not, I understand that my problem is global and not just societal. Understand, I am not blaming my problem on anyone else, nor am I blaming it on myself, or the sperm and egg that produced me. For even more closure, I am not blaming it on the country in which I have lived my entire life.
I'm not very curious these days. The empirical model [of my life] means just about as much as the next decision I will make (whether to feed myself or not). That was a joke.
I know I once emphasized reason over emotion, but now I approach this way of thinking with apprehension. Recent physical exchanges have taught me to confront the issues I have with others in a more subdued manner, but I know that writing about them now would be unwise.
I must give it time to settle, or else I will not be able to forgive myself.
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